Let Me Be There
by TheMidnightSociety
Summary: What if Cheryl stormed into the infirmary a little too late? This is basically a re-write of 3x21. I really wanted a scene where Cheryl asks Toni why she was so desperate to get that procedure done because it would've been the PERFECT opportunity for us to get Toni's backstory. But we didn't get that so I wrote this.
1. Let Me Be There

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Fuck the writers for not letting us know what Toni's emotional pain was about/why she needed that treatment so badly. The fact that she was so desperate to get rid of her emotional pain so much so that she kept mentioning it and wanted to go first... I'm so sad for her; we don't even know what she's been through. She clearly went through a lot of awful things that are still hurting her, but still remains kind and compassionate.**

"The Farm is a front; Kevin, Fangs... Edgar took their kidneys!" Betty frantically says to Cheryl. "There's a refrigerator filled to the brim with human organs. The Farm..." she pauses as she lifts a cooler onto Cheryl's bed ..." is an organ farm."

"Are you trying to get shipped off to Shutter Island, you lunatic?" Cheryl asks, still not believing a word that Betty says about The Farm.

To try to convince her even more that she's telling the truth, Betty opens the cooler to reveal a human heart.

A look of horror washes over Cheryl's face as she scoots further back on her bed. "Oh, my God. Is that..." she goes to ask.

"Yes, Cheryl," Betty answers her question before Cheryl even finishes asking it. "This is why he keeps adopting kids... for his human chop shop."

Cheryl stares at her cousin with her mouth open in repugnance.

"Based on the price list I saw in the infirmary, it's lucrative as hell," the blonde girl adds in disgust.

"Infirmary?" Cheryl questions as she realizes something and panic washes over her like a wave. She quickly stands up from her bed. "If there's even a chance you're right; Toni's procedure is today, the nurses just took her away!" she exclaims, her voice cracking at the end. She starts walking past Betty and towards the door. She runs her hand over her forehead and through her hair in distress.

"Okay, go-go get Toni. I'll get Kevin and Fangs," Betty says to placate Cheryl. The redhead doesn't need to be told twice as she opens the door and hastily makes her way to her girl.**  
**

* * *

A few hours later, Cheryl is sitting by Toni's side as the smaller girl slowly comes around and takes in her surroundings.

As soon as she sees the shirt that Cheryl is wearing is covered in blood, Toni starts getting worried: "Cher, what happened?! Are you okay?" she asks, her voice hoarse from the anesthesia.

Cheryl stifles a laugh. Her girlfriend is the one laying in a hospital bed, but she's asking Cheryl if she's okay.

"I'm fine, TT. This isn't my blood..." the redhead answers gently, not wanting to upset Toni, but also not wanting to lie to her either.

Realization hits Toni like a truck when she feels a sharp pain on the lower right side of her back. "T-that's m-my b-blood, i-isn't i-it?" she stutters out.

Cheryl nods numbly.

"Why are you covered in my blood? Why aren't we at The Farm? Why am I in the hospital? Why am I in so much pain? And what about my treatment, Cher?" Toni asks. The tone in her voice breaks Cheryl's heart; it's the first time she's ever heard her sound small and in distress. The shorter girl is panicking and confused, and as a result, her heart monitor starts beeping wildly. Then her face crumples as tears fill her eyes.

"Shh. Don't cry, TT. It's okay, baby. You're safe. Just please calm down," Cheryl coos as she gently places her hand on Toni's shoulder.

Once Toni calms down a bit, Cheryl begins to fill her in on what happened back at The Farm: "It turns out Betty's cries about the sky is falling were true; Edgar was harvesting the organs of his members and selling them on the black market. Fangs and Kevin; he took their kidneys, Toni, and he almost took yours too. Thankfully, I got you out of there before that could happen."

"W-what do you mean you got me out of there?" the pink-haired girl whimpers out.

"I stormed into the infirmary just as they were about to remove your kidney. If I came in a little earlier, you might not be in as much pain as you're in right now and you wouldn't have that soon-to-be ugly scar on your beautiful body," Cheryl says tearfully.

"Don't cry, Cher Bear," Toni says weakly, still a little groggy after her surgery. "You saved me, and I would be short a kidney if it weren't for you. How did you even get me out of there, anyway? I was knocked out, and I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have just let you leave with me mid-procedure."

"Well, first of all, they were charlatans, Toni," Cheryl says in quiet anger.

"What?" Toni asks, as her voice goes up an octave.

"Your nurses were frauds, and so was your doctor," Cheryl explains. "I'm so relieved that I made it in time before they used any more of those instruments of torture on you," she adds. "But to answer your question, I accidentally knocked 'Nurse' 1 out when I pushed her onto the floor, I grabbed a syringe that was laying on the table next to you to sedate your 'doctor' and 'Nurse' 2 stayed back when I threatened to stab her with a scalpel and to burn The Farm down, which is something I totally should've done, by the way," she answers as she laughs internally at the memory of it. "Anyway, I grabbed you off the operating table, and the reason why I have your blood all over me is because they had already made the incision before I could rescue you. I somehow managed to get us out of the building without getting caught. I ran with you in my arms through the woods for about a mile. Eventually, I made it to a road where I finally had service to call you an ambulance. You were losing a lot of blood, TT, and I was getting worried. I didn't know exactly where we were, but thankfully the paramedics still managed to find us. They drove us here, to Riverdale General, wheeled you straight into the operating room to stitch you back up and then I told them exactly what had happened back at The Farm. It and Edgar are under investigation, and hopefully they'll lock him up and shut that horrid place down for good," she finishes.

"I'm sorry, Cher. I joined The Farm to get my girlfriend back, but I ended up getting sucked into it too. I was supposed to be rescuing you, not the other way around, and now, because of me, you can't even talk to Jason anymore. I know you wish he was here instead of me. I'm so sorry I failed you," Toni says shamefully.

"No, baby, don't ever say that again. You did not fail me, you could never fail me, and I don't wish Jason were here instead of you. I'm the one who got you dragged into this mess in the first place. The only reason why you took the risk of getting brainwashed by a cult was because I didn't tell Evelyn to 'fuck off' when she told me I had to choose between Jason and you. I knew deep down that he was gone, but I still chose a hallucination of a dead person over my very alive girlfriend, who I once told was the most important person in my life... and still is. If anyone should be apologizing, it should be me, TT. I'm so sorry. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Of course I forgive you, Cher. How can I not after you took down two nurses and a doctor by yourself, carried me through the woods and saved my life? I was devastated that you chose Jason over me, but I know it must've been hard for you to be put in such a difficult position. I know how much he means to you; I just hoped that I loved you enough for you to choose me," she sniffles. "But in the end, I guess you did choose me over him when you took me out of that place. The thought of me in danger was what pulled you out of The Farm's spell. Your love for me really trumped being brainwashed," she adds almost proudly.

"Toni, can I ask you something?" Cheryl asks suddenly.

"Anything, Cher."

"Why did you want that procedure so badly? I mean, you wanted to get yours done first, you said that you couldn't wait for Edgar to take away your emotional pain and you were in tears when you found out that you didn't actually get your treatment. Why were you so desperate for that procedure? What happened to you, baby?"

"I-I... um... I..." Toni could feel her chest starting to tighten as her heart monitor started beeping wildly again. She really did not want to answer that question.

Cheryl immediately regretted asking Toni that as soon as the words came out of her mouth. She wanted to slap herself for asking such a personal question while Toni was laid up in a hospital bed, recovering from surgery.

"Toni, you don't have to answer that. I'm sorry; I shouldn't have asked you that. You just got out of surgery; you need to stay relaxed and calm, okay?" Cheryl says soothingly, her fingers reaching up to brush through Toni's matted hair gently.

"O-okay," Toni chokes out.

It's quiet for a moment before Toni speaks again: "Cher, why did you ask me about my past now? I mean, we've been dating for almost a year, so why now?" Toni asks quietly. She wasn't mad that Cheryl didn't know much about her, seeing as Toni's not the type of person who willingly opens up to people. But still, she was just wondering why it took Toni almost losing a kidney for Cheryl to ask her about herself.

"I didn't want to prod," the redhead answers plainly. "Of course, I was curious, but I figured you would tell me when you were ready. I want to know everything there is to know about you, TT. But you don't have to tell me right now," she adds.

"I promise I'll tell you, Cher Bear. Just not today because it's not easy for me to talk about," Toni tiredly says in response.

"You were there for me during my tough times, and I'll be there for yours... if you just let me," Cheryl tenderly says as she leans down to place a kiss on Toni's cheek. "Now sleep, my little love. I'll be here when you wake up."

"I love you so much, Cheryl," Toni says through a yawn as her eyes start to close, her pain medication finally kicking in. And before the pink-haired girl succumbs to her dreams, she feels Cheryl smiling against her skin before her lips brush over her forehead.

"I love you too, Toni."


	2. Author's Note

It was so frustrating to me that even as 3x21 was airing, Choni fans were STILL adamant that Toni was faking being brainwashed so she could save Cheryl from The Farm. It's like fans just thought (and hoped) that Toni was going to save Cheryl (because that seems to be all fans want and expect her to do) and nobody seemed to even consider that Toni having issues of HER OWN might be the reason why she got sucked into a cult. Nope. People only see Toni as Cheryl's girlfriend so they didn't think that Toni joined The Farm for reasons OTHER than Cheryl. While at The Farm, Toni told Betty she's "been searching for a family her whole life", she told Cheryl: "me first" when talking about getting their treatments and she said: "I can't wait for him to take away mine" when talking about Edgar and her emotional pain. When Toni said she's been searching for a family her whole life, a lot of Choni fans got mad at her because Cheryl just gave her a "new family" with the Poisons... even though the Poisons were just a guilt gift from Cheryl (like if Toni hadn't had confronted Cheryl in the bathroom in 3x12, then Cheryl wouldn't have done anything about Toni losing the Serpents). Toni basically said that she never really had a family and instead of focusing on that, Choni fans made it about Cheryl (as usual) and how "wonderful" and "selfless" she was for giving the Poisons to Toni and how "ungrateful" and "unappreciative" Toni was for not considering the Poisons/what Cheryl gave her as being her family. Fans really thought Toni was saying she wanted to go first (to get the treatment) so she could save Cheryl. I don't understand how she would "save" and "protect" Cheryl from The Farm by getting the treatment herself. Like how would her losing a kidney and it being sold on the black market help Cheryl in any kind of way? Anyway, it's like NO ONE even considered that Toni might have her own shit going on and that she ACTUALLY had real/legitimate emotional pain that she wanted to get rid of. She's not allowed to have issues (or storylines) of her own because, apparently (to the writers and the fandom), EVERYTHING about her character has to relate to Cheryl somehow.

So in this chapter, I was going to give Toni a backstory, BUT I decided not to because the idea I had was really messed up and I just didn't feel like writing it. And even though barely anyone reads my fics, I didn't want to get attacked for it either. I always had a feeling that Toni was abused (physically and sexually) by her uncle and I was going to have that be a reason for her emotional pain. And not to sound like an asshole, but I feel like since Cheryl outed Moose, she just keeps adding onto whatever emotional pain Toni was trying to get rid of. Anyway... I saw one person comment on a Toni backstory fic: "I love to one day read a Toni centric fic that doesn't include rape or sexual abuse because it's such a disturbing theme I've noticed in so many of them". It just annoys me when people say shit like that because these same fucking people have Cheryl getting beaten by her parents and actually getting raped by Nick, etc. in their fics... how is that any less "disturbing" than when people do it for Toni? I'm not trying to minimalize or trivialize her pain or anything but if she got sucked into a cult and was THAT fucking desperate to get rid of her emotional pain, I think it would take more (like her being physically and/or sexually assaulted) than her mom abandoning her or her dad going to jail or whatever for her to be that upset over not getting that treatment.

Based on what little we do know about Toni's backstory, it would make sense for her to have experienced some sort of sexual abuse or rape in her life. Not wishing that on Toni, but think about it; she (most likely) had to do the "Serpent Dance" (which is basically a pole dance) at a young age, she's been in a gang and working at a bar since before the age of 16, she lived in a trailer park with an uncle who's homophobic and clearly wasn't the best caregiver (seeing as he locked her out on more than one occasion), she grew up poor and on "the wrong side of the tracks", she's been in so many dangerous situations from such a young age, etc... it would make sense for something like that to have gone down. These people go around saying by writing Toni an accurate backstory, we're trying to "out-trauma" Cheryl. Like you're the ones writing her being actually raped, which didn't happen and brutally beaten by her parents, which once again, ISN'T CANON. Like you guys are the ones trying to worsen Cheryl's backstory and honestly, it's kind of odd. Like it's not the canon we saw in the show... it never happened, so what is the obsession with wanting Cheryl to be raped and to have her parents physically abuse her? And then try to hit us with the "oh it's 'fanon' get over it". I even had one person try to tell me that I was "invalidating" Cheryl's physical abuse because I said it wasn't canon. I KNOW abuse is abuse but Cheryl was MENTALLY and EMOTIONALLY abused (I'm NOT "invalidating" that because that IS actually canon)... it was NEVER physical. People just like to exaggerate Cheryl's trauma tenfold so Toni can be even more of an emotional support towards her than she already is... while also saying that "poor baby Cheryl deserves to be happy. Hasn't she been through enough?" and "Toni is more than just Cheryl's girlfriend", etc... hypocrites. Like if Cheryl being raped and abused and having extra traumatic experiences getting added onto what's already a shit ton of emotional baggage gets to be "fanon", why can't Toni having a realistic backstory be fanon too? It honestly annoys the fuck out of me. Like just say you hate Toni and go.

Choni fans like to use that scene of Penelope grabbing Cheryl's chin as an example of her (Cheryl) being physically abused; in that scene, all Penelope did was grab her chin then let go, and somehow everyone saw that as Penelope straight up beating her. Not saying it was okay for Penelope to do that, but A LOT of parents do that with their kids and it's not seen as abuse... and is even sometimes considered "normal" (parenting). Also, FP has grabbed Jughead's face before and I didn't see anyone saying Jughead was abused or dozens of fics saying the same thing with the same plot line. Other than that, and maybe one other time when Penelope grabbed Cheryl's wrist, I don't recall Penelope EVER getting physical with Cheryl... especially not to the point where I would consider it abuse. Like unless Cheryl straight up says that Penelope (or Clifford) physically abused her OR she has evidence of it like bruises, burns, scars, etc., then she WASN'T physically abused. And another thing, the Blossoms are a well-known family with a reputation to keep... they would NEVER leave a mark on their child for anyone to see; they're too smart for that. [I mean, obviously they wouldn't have before it was discovered that Clifford killed Jason. After that, their reputation went to shit.] But I'm not saying that Penelope and Clifford COULDN'T have physically abused Cheryl, I'm saying that they DIDN'T. Like there's definitely a POSSIBILITY that Cheryl could have been physically abused, but it was never said or shown that she was... so she wasn't... so PLEASE stop fucking acting like she was.

And people saying that "Toni's so respectful and soft towards Cheryl because of what happened with Nick" or because of her mom's physical abuse. Like no... girl is respectful and soft because she's a good person and because Cheryl's her fucking girlfriend. Or "Toni never retaliates physically"... yeah because she knows violence isn't the answer and MAKES YOU A SHITTY PERSON. I saw someone respond to that with: "She doesn't have to because just raising her voice a little brings Cheryl to tears." Uh, okay? Great? Toni can't raise her voice (which she had no choice but to do since Cheryl either wouldn't listen to her, kept talking over her or dismissing her) at all to DEFEND HERSELF but Cheryl gets to PHYSICALLY push her? Alright.

It's just so frustrating when I read a fic where Cheryl is taking care of Toni after she gets beaten up/injured and there's ALWAYS a line where Toni says something like: "You're good at this" and Cheryl responds with something like: "I've had a lot of practice nursing my own injuries." That's SO unnecessary. Like (1) Cheryl being PHYSICALLY abused is NOT canon and (2) Cheryl is supposed to be taking care of Toni... why do Cheryl stans ALWAYS have to find a way to make it about her (and her traumas... whether they're canon or not) somehow? Like can you let Toni be in the spotlight/get some focus for once?! Whenever Toni's backstory is brought up or whenever she's vulnerable, this fandom relates it Cheryl (or Cheryl relates it to herself) and then it becomes about Cheryl and her shitty life/trauma and Toni comforting her about it... with Cheryl's problems ALWAYS being "worse" or "more important" than Toni's. Toni could literally be fucking dying and all anyone would care about is how it affects Cheryl. Like I saw someone say this once: "I know we don't want to imagine this, but imagine Toni dying. Imagine what would happen to Cheryl. She would lose the only person who ever loved her, besides Jason... who's also dead." So just fuck Toni then, huh? Her life only mattered because of her relationship with Cheryl. And I read this line in a fanfic: "She only wanted Toni to wake up because she had to be held or comforted. Toni would open her eyes, wipe away Cheryl's tears and tell her everything was going to be alright." So Toni almost dying (in this fic) doesn't matter to Cheryl at all? She only wants her to wake up/be alive to comfort her over the fact that Toni almost died? It happens all the time in fanfics and it pisses me off. Like instead of focusing on Toni being injured or her almost dying and how SHE feels about that, the fic becomes all about Cheryl panicking because she almost lost her... with Toni comforting her over that. It's messed up. Like Cheryl should be the one comforting Toni (in those situations); not the other way around.

It also bothers me in AU/role reversal Choni fics, when Cheryl STILL has some tragic backstory and Toni doesn't. Like don't call it a AU/role reversal if Toni's life in Cheryl's canon position is perfect because all you "reversed" is their financial statuses... and you just made Toni a bitch (and Cheryl not a bitch). It doesn't matter what their roles are in fics, people ALWAYS find a way to make Cheryl's life horrible and tragic and Toni's so perfect that it's practically unrealistic. And stop making Cheryl a player and a (service) top in her life in Toni's canon position because Toni's NOT a player (or experienced) and she's not a top either (her and Cheryl switch).

A lot of people in this fandom seem to only want Toni's backstory so they can just make it about Cheryl. Like I saw someone say that they want to see how Toni's family reacts to her dating a Blossom and how that's going to affect Cheryl and whatnot. Like... NO. The WHOLE point of us getting Toni's backstory is so that she is seen as being more than just Cheryl's girlfriend/as her own person and character. If the writers take Toni's backstory... aka HER life history/childhood and family... and make it about Cheryl, then that just continues to show that she's nothing more than an accessory to Cheryl and she's only there to further Cheryl's storyline and used as a plot device for her character development/growth. It would be the blandest shit ever if the writers made Toni's storyline be that whatever family members Toni has don't like Cheryl because of the ancestor thing. And it would be fucking stupid too because it's pretty obvious at this point that (if they're alive) Toni's family doesn't give a shit about her so why the fuck would they care about who she's dating? Not to mention that the Serpents (which were formed by Toni's grandfather as a way to keep the remaining Uktena together after Cheryl's ancestor stole their land and slaughtered them) made Cheryl a member, so why would Toni's family not approve of Cheryl, but let Cheryl join the Serpents? Like (1) how would Toni's family not have known that a Blossom joined the Serpents (like I feel like that would've spread like wildfire) and (2) how were they okay with Cheryl being a Serpent but not her being Toni's girlfriend? I think it would make a hell of a lot more sense for Toni's family to not approve of Cheryl because Cheryl's a girl. I mean, we already know Toni's uncle is homophobic. And this just goes back to what I said about why Toni's family would give a fuck about who she's dating when they don't even give a shit about her. Like if they don't approve of Cheryl because she's a girl (and NOT because she's a Blossom), then they're homophobic and they can't (truly) give a shit about Toni if they can't support her and her sexuality. If Toni's family doesn't approve of Cheryl, I'd rather it be because she's a girl. Like at least that reason could ACTUALLY focus on Toni by maybe giving us her coming out story and elaborate more on what it was like growing up and "living" with her homophobic uncle, etc.. The ancestor reason would not focus solely on Toni; it would focus on the Topazes, the Blossoms and how Toni's family not approving of Cheryl affects Cheryl... which would probably lead to Toni being her emotional support again. TONI'S backstory should focus on TONI. Like I said, the WHOLE point of us getting her backstory is so she can FINALLY have some depth and be seen as her own character/more than just Cheryl's girlfriend. We might know more about Toni after seeing how her family reacts to her dating Cheryl, but in the end, she's still going to be just Cheryl's girlfriend... because learning that Toni's family doesn't approve of Cheryl doesn't give Toni any depth; it just makes it clear that this relationship is and always will be centered around Cheryl.

I saw someone say: "Missing Toni, Sweet Pea and Fangs friendship on this fine day"... what friendship?! They're NOT friends. Vanessa, Jordan and Drew are but they are NOT their characters! Can we PLEASE have a Toni backstory fic that matches up more with the show? I'm just so fucking tired of fans acting like her, Sweet Pea and Fangs grew up together and are practically siblings (with them calling her "Tiny") when Toni deadass almost slept with Sweet Pea and we only saw them hanging out as a trio or Toni with one of them, like, five times MAX. They didn't defend her at all and they made no attempt to reach out to her when she got kicked out of the Serpents. Clearly they aren't as close as the fandom likes to pretend. And I'm tired of fans writing Toni and her grandfather as being super close when (1) she "lived" with her homophobic uncle instead of him and (2) he wasn't around/mentioned at all when Toni got kicked out of the Serpents. Like stop making her life seem better than it is/than Cheryl's life is by pretending like she has friends and family that care(s) about her. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, because I know Toni backstory (and Toni centric) fics are rare, but this stuff just irritates me.

This fandom hyper-fixates on and milks every bad thing that happens to Cheryl but never talks about or acknowledges anything bad that did happen or might've happened to Toni. Toni is such an opportunity for creativity, but all people want to do is focus on Cheryl and rewrite what we know about her, or add to make it worse... while using Toni in the process. It's such a shame too because there are so many talented writers in this fandom, but they really only care about Cheryl and just want to write the same shit over and over again. Like there are SO many great authors out there, but their stories are so unoriginal now because it's either basically stuff that's been written, or practically them writing what they've written all over again but in different words. I mean, people can write whatever they want but it's still frustrating because if had their writing skills, then I would have hundreds of fics trying to do Toni some justice. [I have so many fanfic ideas but not enough talent to write them... do you see the problem? It just hurts to see my favorite character getting treated poorly by the writers and the fandom and not really being able to do much about it. I don't think it would hurt as much if I actually had some decent writing skills.] I'm just SO sick of seeing Choni fanfics with tags like: "Cheryl Blossom Needs A Hug" (usually followed by: "And Toni Gives Her One"), "Cheryl Just Wants Love" (usually followed by: "Toni Gives It To Her"), "Toni Comforts Cheryl", "Toni Is A Therapist", "Protective Toni", "Alpha Toni" (always followed "Omega Cheryl"), "Top Toni" (always followed by "Cheryl Bottoms"), "Dom!Toni" (always followed by "Sub!Cheryl"), "G!PToni", etc. There are three types of Choni fanfics: (1) Angst where Cheryl talks about being abused or being insecure and Toni comforts her, (2) smut where Cheryl's inexperienced and Toni is a dominant top and (3) AU where Cheryl's life is still horrible but Toni's life is relatively fine. THAT'S IT. Like, can you come up with something else?! I truly don't understand how fans aren't sick or bored of writing and reading the same shit. Between the show and fanfics, I feel like I'm on Cheryl overload; like EVERYTHING is always about her and NEVER about Toni and it's just so frustrating because Toni's my favorite. I just wish Toni got as much love and attention as Cheryl gets.

Choni fans always want and expect Toni to do everything in this relationship... even shit that makes a hell of a lot more sense for Cheryl to do. Like: "I bet Toni bought Cheryl that giant ass teddy bear in her room"... even though (1) Cheryl's had that in her room since before she even knew Toni, (2) Toni's poor and (3) Cheryl's rich AND extra as fuck. Or: "I want Toni to kiss Cheryl's forehead"... even though Cheryl's lips are literally at the same height as Toni's forehead. Or people still acting like Toni is the big spoon when it's been shown that she's the little spoon... and it never made sense for her to be the big spoon anyway (since she's little and Cheryl's the clingy one). Or people wanting Cheryl to wear Toni's clothes when (1) Toni is smaller than Cheryl and therefore her clothes might be a little tight on her and (2) Toni is poor and now shares a room with Cheryl... I just think it would make a hell of a lot more sense for Toni to borrow/wear Cheryl's clothes instead. And people writing Toni picking Cheryl up in their fanfics... Mads deadass said that Vanessa couldn't lift her so Toni picking up Cheryl is PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE. Then there's people saying: "Toni, go get your girl therapy"... as if Toni doesn't need therapy herself and others always wanting Toni to kick Nick's ass... when that's not even something she would do. [Toni's above violence; which was saw in season 2. Girl is too smart for that. She'll use violence when necessary, but doesn't enjoy doing it.] And there's people like: "Toni, hug Cheryl back challenge"... Toni CONSTANTLY gives Cheryl love and support... like that's ALL she does... and fans get mad at her when she's not "reciprocating" Cheryl's affection and clinginess. Cheryl holding/side-hugging Toni is one of the few times we see the reciprocity from Cheryl. With Choni fans, it's always: "Toni better be there when such and such happens to Cheryl", "Toni, do this", "Toni, do that"; what MORE do you want from her?! Like AT LEAST let the poor girl get laid. I just don't get how people can say they love Toni, want her to have a backstory and her own plot outside of Cheryl yet literally only write about, discuss and see her as Cheryl's emotional support and service top in bed. [It's like they just see Toni as "the guy" in the relationship. Literally ANYTHING the guy would typically do in a heterosexual relationship, Choni fans want and expect Toni to do it; whether it's her protecting Cheryl/beating people up for her, being the big spoon, being the top, her not being the pregnant one, etc. And I'm not even going to get into all the Choni fics where Toni has a dick and/or is written as being a player and this super dominant sex machine. All I'm going to say about that is how annoying it is when Choni fans say that Cheryl is a lesbian, and therefore "doesn't like dick", but have her getting dicked down by Toni in their fics]. So many "Toni stans" don't even stan Toni; they stan Cheryl and the idea of someone helping her, and that just so happens to be Toni. If Toni wasn't with Cheryl, then they would pay her absolute dust... which is exactly what they did when Choni were fighting and broken up. If you love a character, and I mean truly LOVE... like you relate to them and to their journey and everything... you will NEVER only see them as half of your favorite ship and you will forever support them because they EXIST outside of a fictional couple. They exist on their OWN, you know. To be honest, the majority of the Choni fandom say the writers treat Toni poorly when they really see her the exact same way; the fans don't treat her any better than the writers do. But AT LEAST the writers aren't hypocrites and don't pretend to give a shit about Toni; like they aren't constantly complaining about how she's "more than just Cheryl's girlfriend" WHILE writing, thinking, wanting and expecting her character to do and say shit that makes her just THAT (Cheryl's girlfriend). I'd honestly rather these supposed "Toni-leaning Choni stans" just straight up say that they hate Toni/only like her because of her relationship with Cheryl then them continuing to act like they give a shit about her when it's so painfully obvious that they don't. I'm just so sick of all these fake ass Toni fans. Just PLEASE stop pretending to give a shit about her because it's so unbelievably frustrating to the very few who actually DO give a shit about her. I don't fucking care; anyone who still thinks Toni is the top and WANTS her to be (AFTER it's been shown/confirmed that Choni switch) and gets mad whenever she bottoms, anyone who just assumes that Toni took Cheryl's virginity (when that's NOT a fact and has NEVER been confirmed in the show) or stereotypes her as being promiscuous, anyone who thinks so lowly of Toni by thinking that she's going to cheat on Cheryl (literally EVERY single time we get a still or sneak peak or whatever of Toni smiling/looking happy with a character that isn't Cheryl, fans are like: "what if Toni cheats on Cheryl with them?" I remember the promo for 3x18 came out and everyone was like: "what if the reason why Cheryl is crying/upset is because she walks into the locker room to find Toni cheating on her?" We saw a TWO SECOND glimpse of Toni in that promo and fans were accusing her of cheating just from that) and calls her a gold digger etc., anyone who wasn't bothered (and especially those who laughed/made jokes) by Cheryl's treatment of Toni in 3x16 and didn't even think that Cheryl did anything wrong/ needed to apologize to her for it, anyone who hyper-fixates on Cheryl and never takes Toni's feelings or perspective on anything (Cheryl related or not) into consideration and anyone who just expects Toni to do everything (especially things that are more in character for Cheryl to do than Toni) in this relationship, is NOT a real Toni fan. If you're a Toni fan and you want her "to be her own character", then why do you CONTINUOUSLY get excited about her topping or her being Cheryl's shoulder to cry on? (Legit, the same fans I see complaining that Toni is "more than Cheryl's girlfriend" are the same ones I see jumping for joy whenever we see Toni being Cheryl's emotional support again). Like wouldn't you get mad at that because we still haven't gotten her backstory and she's still portrayed as being just "Cheryl's girlfriend"? I sure as hell do because Toni can never or very rarely ever gets laid and Cheryl never fucking asks Toni ANYTHING about herself; ALL they talk about is Cheryl. Toni does SO fucking much for Cheryl; can we PLEASE see some more reciprocity from Cheryl? I want to see (more of) her being there for Toni... emotionally AND sexually. I know Cheryl's a main character and Toni's a regular but it's just ridiculous that not only is their relationship 99% of the time focused on Cheryl, 100% of Toni's EXISTENCE on the show is focused on Cheryl now. I'm tired of Toni fans acting as if her getting screen time equals good content. I don't care if Toni gets a lot of screen time/has more than two lines in an episode if all of her scenes in that episode are about and have to do with Cheryl (or another character). I'd rather have the crumbs where Toni gets SOME focus and where we see Cheryl as TONI'S girlfriend for a change. I just don't get how these supposed Toni fans aren't mad, but EXCITED, about Toni constantly being ignored and relegated as Cheryl's support system. I feel like all Toni does is give and give and give and I'm waiting for someone to give back to her now. Toni is more than just a half of a pairing. If the writers wanted to give Toni a backstory, they already would have; they hate her. I know the fans think Cheryl is "the writers' punching bag", but AT LEAST she has storylines of her own. They use Toni as a prop to push other characters' narratives so they bend her to fit whatever bullshit they write up. Cheryl can have scenes and storylines without Toni/that don't involve her but Toni can't even get scenes without Cheryl anymore. She's just... there with NO development and NO backstory; she has no personality and no character outside of her relationship. And no one seems to care. I just wish people who call themselves Toni stans ACTUALLY loved Toni for who she is as a character/person and NOT just because of what she does for Cheryl. The writers don't know how to write a Choni storyline that isn't centered around Cheryl and it's really REALLY frustrating. Toni is only ever used as a prop and the fandom endorses it a lot without realizing it. I think the very over-simplified version of my problem with the way Choni is depicted is that Toni is shown as someone who loves unconditionally, whereas Cheryl is not shown that way... so it makes their relationship feel kind of one-sided to me sometimes. It's like the writers and the fandom think that Choni can't exist unless Toni does everything. Toni Topaz deserves so much better than this show and this fandom and that's a fact. I'm just so fucking tired of my favorite character getting treated like shit and her potential being completely wasted. It's bad enough to see her getting treated that way on-screen, but to not be able to read (and enjoy) fanfics or interact with other Choni fans because they treat her the same way, is disheartening, frustrating and isolating.


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